I live in Tokyo now but most of my friends and family do not. The main idea here is that I can tell these people about interesting things that happen and are seen.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Inter Net Strikes Out Again

Shucks, so I was in a pretty foul mood earlier today and I put "www.ihateeverything.com" into my browser. I don't think I expected anything in particular - perhaps a Wikipedia of peeves, disproportionate hostility to the various contents of the world? Some vitriolic screed on the inadequacy of paperclips as a tool for attaching papers (papers! how I loathe them!), and also white people: god damn them?

Basically you would expect this picture and a Trent Reznor MIDI

But here's what you actually get:

The same kind of fake search engine non-content you get when you accidentally type "yhoo" instead of Yahoo. My mood, however, was slightly improved when I troubled to read the software's rather nonsensical attempts to exploit my obvious nihilistic urges and get me downloading some spyware or whatever.

Here's what's "hot":

Some of is just the kind of stuff that the internet exists for - nude pictures of middle-aged women, theft of copyrighted media, dating... "hate" and "hate crimes" obviously fall under the remit of "hating everything" and are pretty justifiable. But... "hobo"?


Some things are "hot" and others are "popular":

"I hate music, Indian woman!" is a coherent sentence that I intend to deploy some day, at an appropriate moment.

"Life Blows" could refer to the idea that Life is metaphorically eating a dick, or alternatively the Blows dealt by Life to unfortunate folks, the kind of blows that might ultimately lead a person to hate a number of things. Both of these are sentiments that someone who really hates everything can get behind so I clicked on it.

More of the same:

The encyclopedia article about "life blows" does not exist, however that particular phrase does occur in their articles titled "no doubt", "Precordial thump" and "Welcome to the Infant Freebase" (seriously).

Who are these people? What is their business model? Who is paying to advertise with them? What does it cost, like, thirty cents?

One answer to the last question is "people who sell components of furniture but not actually entire pieces of furniture", which is what you get if you click on "Knobs" (disappointing for some, I suppose).

How could this possibly be effective in any way. "I hate everything but mainly the fact that I can't open my drawers anymore because the things on the front that you grip have fallen off... dang what do you call those things, godammit I'm so frustrated I just gotta hit up ihateeverything.com and see what's there".... is this a sentence that would conceivably pass through someone's mind.

No, it is not. (It was a rhetorical question)



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